Reflection

Well its April 9 which means I have 4 weeks of classes left and 3 days of finals until I am finished with my first year of college. Crazy thought, considering that it seemed to take me ages to get out of high school and to this place in my life.

God has been doing a great work in my life through it all. A lot has changed, and thats ok. I am actually pretty happy with my life considering all the major changes, losses and ups and downs of life. This past year has been a celebration of life, both eternal life and new life on this earth. I welcomed in a new cousin and ushered out my great grandfather to the glory of Heaven.

I have had great times of reflection after times of despair. When I was in Arkansas last month for my great grandfather's funeral, it was amazing to celebrate the life of man who came to know Christ at age 72 and then went on to serve Him and do great things for Him until the day he died, days short of his 92nd birthday. But at the same time it brought unexpected pain.

As we traveled from the funeral home to the cemetary and concluded the burial services I turned to my right and there was the grave of my Grandpa Jerry who died of cancer way too young in life, and that brought back a deep pain, not only for me, but also for my family.

Privately it sent me in a bit of a tailspin. I began to relive the questions I had when I was so young. Questions like "Why did God have to take my Grandpa, he was my best friend?" or "God must not care because he let that happen to my Grandpa, and it has forever changed our family".

And then as I came back to school a week later and as I was doing my Bible study I was reading through Habbakuk - - for possibly the first time in my life. As I read through it, initially I saw the writings of a man who was angry with God, because he did not understand how the Creator was allowing such wickednesss and pain to prevail. It isnt until the 3rd and final chapter that Habbakuk comes to the realization that God has a Sovereign plan and His will is superior to anything we could ever dream of or know.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."
Hab. 3:17-19

Though there seems to be no fruit or positive things in our/my life at times, I need to be constantly rejoicing because I have the God of lovingkindess who prevails and is my Savior. He gives me strength to carry on and he enables me to go to the heights in life. I guess I must continually work to remember that God will never give me/us more than we can handle in life. He will always be there forever and ever.

He will not leave nor forsake me. I can rejoice that in the pain I am stronger in Him. He enables me to persevere. There is no greater thing and I fully complete in Him. God's redemptive story is one that reaches to the beginning of time as we know it and because of that I can face the heartache and understand there is a greater plan than I can ever know. I am but a speck of dust in God's universe of knowledge, and yet he loves me.

A good friend once said to me that we are but a vapor. I am just thankful for my vapor, and that Christ came to this earth and shed His redeeming blood for me. I am alive and well in HIM!!